Today i have finally found the answer.
through the special morning service, i was able to find peace within me
for time, i've been in very strong denials and hated myself for never doing what i want
but doing things because "others" want me to, sees me as, looks up to me as...
basically i was lost.
i lost my way
but i remembered "a word of advice"from a junior pastor couple of years ago
she said to me: everything that you do, whether it is something that you like or don't like, God will make use of all your talent
Then i remembered pastor bryan's last wednesday night sermon
"There are many NOs in life, and few Yes.."
and my mom once told me:
"i find peace and happiness within God, my life right now is happy because of God."
as i started to piece myself together, i found the answer to my problem.
i started my college life with the major of linguistic and honestly at that time,
i did not know what it was just that it was related to languages.
my first 1.5 semester in linguistic was fun, i really enjoyed it.
however during my 4th semester into linguistics,
a professor named Dr. Hertz ruined all the joy of linguistic.
it was too late for me to change my major because
i was more than half way done with the degree.
so at the end of that same semester, i decided to take upon anthropology
and later focus in the fields of forensic anthropology.
believe it or not, i was accustomed to this field of study through
the tv series Bones and i loved what Dr. Brennan was able to conduct.
Finding the answers within the bones
and i really love osteology,
it was more fun to learn about the bones than linguistics.
as i have finished up my 5th semester last fall,
i wasn't all into it because of my hate in linguistics grew so much
but still i've miraculously survived that semester (thanks you for your prayers! ♥)
every time when i'm in a break from school or in a vacation
i have always be confronted with a major problem (an illness perhaps)
i look at what i have done so far and what lies ahead for me in the future
and if i take these two into consideration
i have always beat myself up
for not able to find peace and happiness in what i was doing
so i ended up hating myself more and more
since last year, i have been secretly searched for theology schools
as time permitted or if had nothing to do
BUT during this winter break,
i have been putting more effort into my search
Today, i was able to piece all these puzzles together
and find the path that the God is preparing for me
a path to become a servent of the Lord
THE paths of ministry and missionary
✎ From the ☾ moon that shines bright as a shooting star ☆